I close my eyes and try to escape. This terrible sadness that's gripped me holding me tighter that I have to remind myself to even breathe. Tears blur the keyboard as they threaten to fall and my nose feels like a waterfall as I try to make it stop.
Everything is falling, down into the darkness and I can't see the light. I can't see it getting better. Not this time.
I hate everyone, and everything including myself and I just want to curl up into a ball and just die this time, really die.
I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what's happening and I'll do anything to make this all go away. I want it to just disappear I want to re-wind time I want to go back and change everything. Because who I am is not who I want to be. And right now I don't even know myself. I feel so lost and confused and the one person I want to just hug me and hold me tight and tell me things are going to be ok...I can't have. My hands are shaking, I feel so cold all the time and I just stare at the tear that's fallen onto my keyboard. They won't stop, I just want silence, I just want this to end.
I can't live like this much longer I don't have the strength.
Labels: Life
So I guess with all things you want to know a little about me then? Sorry to dissapoint you but that's going to have to come later. Right now I'm a little busy to talk about my life but hey look around, read a bit, you might learn something about me you didn't know before.
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