The title is the message I sent to my ex last night.
He honestly made the best day/night into the worst one.
You want to come to my birthday, and I said yes - mistake or not?
The thing is no matter how much I hate him and want to, I can't change that I love him with my whole heart. I don't want to hurt him but when does not hurting him mean I have to feel bad.
He is going to come but I told him don't expect a warm welcome. I even said myself I may not be so welcoming come the night, come the state of mind I'm in.
The thing is no matter how much he says he cared or loved me he never showed it, even worse now that he's moved on and that I was never in consideration. What everyone else says "He used you". He did. Maybe he didn't mean to but the results are still the same. I can tell him all I want how I feel about him but it's always going to be that new girl he picks.
He wants to be friends and I was as clear as I could be that 'us' in a friendship was not going to be a normal one ever. My friends dislike you, I dislike you but there's the part of me that cares which stops me from cutting you out.
Which is why I had to delete you from facebook. Having you on there was just too much to deal with, seeing what you were up to every now and again as your status' got updated. No one has ever hurt me as much as you had, I do hate you. I hate the part of you which only cared for yourself, that never cared for me to try, if we failed at least we knew it was because we were honest. Not scared.
I don't care at this point what you think, you can be mad, yell at me GOOD DO THAT at least I'd be able to see you were human under that selfish skin of yours.
He did cheat. Emotionally because he got to know that girl and knowing him he proberbly loves her already. That's why I'm not seeing his play, that's why I'm never going near that place again because I know that's where you met and that's where I can never have another association with again.
Labels: Life
So I guess with all things you want to know a little about me then? Sorry to dissapoint you but that's going to have to come later. Right now I'm a little busy to talk about my life but hey look around, read a bit, you might learn something about me you didn't know before.