Matt's gone, his off spending his first night, away from his family and friends. Making new ones and starting the path and journey to his new life, one of battle and warfare, of teamwork and skill. For three weeks, we won't have his phone, he won't have any contact with the outside world than that of his new friends he makes. Everything is going to change and I wish there was someway to take a peak into that world. It feels odd that his name around my neck as a sign that he is in some part still here with me feels so light. I'm used to it, I'm used to being his and I know that I forever will be!
I'm so used to talking to him everyday that right now I feel strange getting silence in return for my thoughts. So here's where I'll be telling them. My world, my words that normally only Matt gets to hear, the part of me that belongs to him forever.
Maybe I'll even send these to him, when the three weeks are over so that he can see what three weeks has been for me as I hope I'll be able to hear about his.
He told me before he left that he wasn't good at writing letters but the thing is, that's not me. I love writing, it's a passion i've always had and it's spun out words and sentences I never thought I knew or have said before. It's my solace, a way to vent such emotions that sometimes grip me so tight that I need to take a step back from everything and focus on me.
Maybe this time apart will be the best for us, let us grow a bit away from each other. We may not be able to see each other for 5 months, but that doesn't matter we can talk all the same.
Dear M:
It hasn't even been a day yet but your last message made me smile, I just wish I knew how you were going, settling in, making friends and the people you have plans on crushing. I ran into your parents tonight, at TPP (emphasis on the second P because I can hear you correcting me again). Jess and I had just turned up there when we saw them leaving. I took your word that battleship was a good movie, because that is what we went and saw. Predictable but it wasn't the best movie I had seen. Then again when you have Manahan next to you going on about how he hated the movie and how this was going to happen. I guessed it, one shot left and they will win. It made me think though, hope and wish that the army is everything that you thought it was going to be, even more so. The men in that movie were so proud, of everything they had achieved which made me even more proud of you and what you were doing. I can't wait to hear from you. I haven't cried yet either by the way, but give it a week when it sets in more and I want to feel your arms wrapped around me again, like last night and this morning. It didn't really feel like you were leaving. I just guess I'm going to have to hold onto that feeling till I get the real thing again. I love you, more than you will ever know. I hope you are doing amazing and aren't too cold (I meant that about the thermals as well just let me know)
xxx
Labels: LOVE
So I guess with all things you want to know a little about me then? Sorry to dissapoint you but that's going to have to come later. Right now I'm a little busy to talk about my life but hey look around, read a bit, you might learn something about me you didn't know before.